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We meet Dying People

Day 235

😄 Happier now, the fellowship of brethren had a way of bringing light to my day finally. I had a rough morning. I woke up late, had my quiet time which was too quiet with a little bit of rush which on realization, I had to go back to be sure I still remembered all He had taught me (had to check it again now 😝). My main concern in prayer was basically an uplifting. I was dull, really dull, I felt this cloud of heaviness of heart which was gonna affect my countenance the whole day if the Lord didn't lift it. What was the origin? Last night, was my first time of certifying someone dead. It was terrible, but the main terror was whether I was certifying him into heaven as well. Yes, I've had difficulty with geriatric medicine and in extension, geriatric evangelism. I always feel I'm not in the same century with them, even when I talk, I feel they don't really understand. So with this person, there was the 'generational gap' as well as will I say language barrier or understanding barrier. Yeah, I know Corrie ten Boom had said Common Sense Not Needed, but I still felt, perhaps he didn't get the whole gist that day. We didn't say the sinners prayer before I left, I just ministered. When I sensed he may leave soon, I was like, I should go talk to him a second time. But the second time never came (I forgot). And now this. So as I ask myself, did I certify him into heaven? The sincere answer I can give is I tried. But trying isn't enough. I needed a sort of certainty, but I couldn't lay hold on it. 
Fast forward to this morning, I still felt bad. Typing this now, I feel God wouldn't even necessarily want me to dwell in feeling bad but in being more proactive next time and realizing that the heaviness felt can never be from God. I pray He helps me pay close attention to every soul that needs certification into heaven so I can do so in time. My ill feeling translated into some mild squabbles earlier in the day. Thanks to the meeting of 4 brethren which translated my mood into something better. 
I thank God for lessons being learnt.
Maranatha! 

Comments

  1. Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

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  2. Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

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